Complements not opposites

Some things in life just seem right. We may not always know why, we just know. Indeed, there's a lot to be said for intuition in all walks of life and often it is all we have to go by when passing judgement.

A good example of this is relationships. Most people will have been introduced to a friend's newest flame at some point and had a gut feeling from the start that they weren't right for each other, they just seemed a little too...different.

Of course, inklings aren't always correct and often our initial reaction later proves completely unjustified when, a couple of months down the line, the happy couple are still going strong. So where is this chemistry coming from? She's petite, dark-skinned and reserved, whilst he's muscular, pale-skinned and extroverted.

Before we go down the well-worn 'opposites attract' road, it's probably worth making a very important distinction: opposites are opposing forces and certainly wouldn't form the basis of happy, long-term relationship. When people seem different to each other, but have a certain spark, it probably means they're complementing each other rather than opposing each other.

Dating and the game of love

Traditionally, the dating process has been the most popular means of determining people's compatibility before they commit to anything too serious. Whether they meet through friends, at a sports club or a web-based dating service, the courting procedures are usually the same. They'll meet for drinks, perhaps go to a nice restaurant (with the man paying, of course...) and either the flames of romance will burn, or they won't.

But what determines their compatibility? It is, of course, how well the two people complement each other. They should share the same core values and beliefs, whilst a few other common interests wouldn't go amiss either.

And what about the case of the petite, dark-skinned and reserved lady, with the muscular, pale-skinned and extroverted guy? Well, looks can be deceiving and humans do tend to spot differences before similarities. If they seem happy after a few months, then it's probably because they are...and they'll almost certainly complement each other rather well too.